Nick Meeder | Way Finders

It is easy to get caught up in unmet expectations or someone else’s failure. This sometimes happens unknowingly and subconsciously where you and I secretly keep a running total of a person’s failures.

Something that happens, though, that I’ve started to notice in myself, is that when I’m keeping a secret little “log book” in my head, I become a very stressed out and anxious person who does not look forward to deep fellowship with others.

Sometimes, we even keep ourselves from experiencing God’s grace by not allowing God’s forgiveness to release us from our own failures or expectations that we set for ourselves.

You and I desire freedom, a spiritual freedom. One way that that freedom is experienced is by accepting and giving God’s grace freely. He forgave you. So forgive yourself and those who have sinned against you. Don’t keep yourself from experiencing one of the most abundant and extravagant gifts ever given. Give and accept God’s grace!

There is nothing more scary in life than walking through a period where you are tested. Life sometimes goes way out of your control and there seems to be no coherence to the random tragedies that strike. 

Yet, what do you and I do in these situations? It’s emotional, scary, fearful, anxious, and desperate. And in the midst of everything, we try to make sense of it all. We ask questions like, “Why did this happen?” “What did I do wrong?” “Why are you doing this to me, God?” “Have you abandoned me, God?” “Do you still love me, or are you punishing me?”

These questions are legitimate because they are asked from a state of pain and desperation, but they will not lead you to the security and peace you desire in the midst of a trial or hardship.

So what do you and I do? What or how are we to respond in the midst of pain, trial, or hardship?

1. Draw near to God – God is never far off from you. Run back to Him if you’re far off. He is willing to accept, love and forgive freely. His grace and forgiveness are boundless. Sometimes, though, we just need to get past our own pride and forgive ourselves. God said, “Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you.” King David of the Old Testament called God his “strong tower” where he could run to for refuge in time of need. David was pursued by king Saul, and had many very near misses at that; yet, David found his refuge, safety, and security in God. He has not abandoned you and is your refuge of open arms and safety.
2. Understand the sanctification process and be joyful – The book of James tells us that we are to consider it joy when we face trials because we know it produces steadfastness. Romans chapter 5 says that suffering produces endurance, which produces character, which produces hope. Trials are also designed to keep us humble and dependant on God. The apostle Paul was given a “thorn in his flesh” to keep him from becoming conceited, though he prayed to God for it to be removed. However, God’s grace and power was poured out into his life and was sufficient in Paul’s weakness (2 Cor 12:7-10).
3. Seek out support from peers – You cannot go it alone. You will die (figuratively) if you try to weather the storm by yourself. Seek those who will encourage you and give you guidance and perspective. Have you ever heard the saying, “there is strength in numbers”? You’re not alone and your situation is not unique because all of us struggle with the same fears and worries. The bible tells us to “bear one another’s burdens.” However, depending on the nature of the trial, exercise selective wisdom in who you share the information with.
4. Focus on the things above – Your attitude and perseption of reality is determined by what you focus on. If you focus on the negative, your reality will feel negative. If you focus on the positive, your reality will feel positive. In Isaiah chapter 55, we discover that our perspective is limited and we do not know God’s thoughts. However, we can be sure that God’s word does not return void, but accomplishes all that He sent it to do. His ways and thoughts are far above our’s. In Phillipians chapter 4, the antidote to anxiety is  presenting our petition and prayer to God, with thanksgiving. When we follow this model, it says, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

Have you ever had a day, week, or period of time in your life that seemed like nothing went right? And even after things started to seem like they were going right, next thing you knew, things were crazy or difficult again.

The truth is that this happens to everyone. We like to think that our particular trial or hardship is isolated to us and somehow everyone else has the perfect life. “If only I could be like so and so, then I’d be happy in life,” is a typical line in our heads.

Sometimes, I cause my own suffering or difficulty. Other times I have no control over it.

Life will always throw curve balls at you. God allows this to help you grow and become a person that reflects Christ. However, you get to choose how you’ll respond to life. I think the most destructive question we ask sometimes is, “Why is this happening to me?” It is destructive because it limits, isolates, and victimizes you; it renders you powerless. 

The correct question is, “God, how do you want me to learn and grow from this?” This question takes the focus off of the temporal and gives you an eternal context to appropriately respond to life.

Your life is consistently inconsistent because that is how God gets you to grow. If you never had to change, you would never grow.

Do you want to achieve great results in your life? Do you ever wonder why some people are “lucky” and others aren’t? Have you desired something greatly, but never seemed to get it? If you answered, “yes,” you’re not alone. I struggle with this regularly.

If there’s one thing Jesus is teaching me, it is that of delayed gratification. The problem is that when I don’t feel like God is moving as fast as I’d like Him to, I take the reigns of my life and try to steer it on my own self sufficiency.

What do you think happens when I do this? I run myself into the ground. 

Thank you God for Your mercy and long patience with my stupidity. When will I ever consistently live my life surrendered to your design and Your timing?

God’s plan for your life is better than anyone else could think up. He wants you to live a full life. However, sometimes we don’t know what’s good for ourselves. God will only give us as much as He knows we can handle. Imagine if He gave us what we wanted, all at once, right when we wanted it. We would destroy ourselves.

Give up your desire for control. Seek to serve Christ with all your heart.

Today I had a major learning experience as I was servicing a customer’s building mechanical system in Washington, DC.

My point of contact (who I’ve developed a great trust relationship with) was in a meeting with two other people. My POC was the facilities manager and he was meeting with a personnel manager and an admin worker. The door to the conference room that they were meeting in was open and so I plainly heard what was being said. I was passing between floors, but the conversation seemed so heated that I decided to linger a little and find out what was being discussed.

Apparently, an access security contract was being discussed. The personnel manager wanted the contract approved, but was willing to bypass upper management’s approval to get the contract going. The admin lady was trying to follow the rules and standards put in place, but the personnel manager was pushing back, and aggressively at that. Finally, in the middle of the conversation, the personnel manager interrupted the nice admin lady and bluntly and harshly told her that she was annoying him and he wanted her out of his presence.

I wasn’t going to stick around to find out any more. I learned all that I needed to about this particular individual.

This caused me to learn something huge concerning leadership. How many times have you or I been under an immature leader? How many times have you been subject to a leader’s failures and lack of quality relationship skills? It is stifling, causes pain, and makes you put up walls to shut out the hurt.

This is what I learned:

1. Strong leaders create a safe environment where other people feel respected and able to voice concerns or ideas.
2. Strong leaders respect people as invaluable souls, yet have firm boundaries towards those who would malign or tear others down.
3. Strong leaders take action and do not allow bullying to occur in their organization, nor are they a bully towards others.

This is one aspect that separates weak leaders from strong leaders.