One major issue I consistently see in Christian leadership is a loyalty to abusive structures, ideologies, and beliefs. I grieve and lament these systems because they’re spiritually abusive. Instead of liberating people as the gospel of Jesus Christ does, it often creates enslavement to a family system of control through fear and shame. It’s sad, because they don’t know what they do. It’ll even become disguised as “biblical” or “this is what the Lord told me.” Yet, the Lord God is zealous and jealous for his bride. He will dismantle and disrupt the status quo. Lord, forgive us for what we do not know in helping people live into the true freedom and liberation you provide.
Dogmatism and Loyalty: Israel’s Religious Leaders
The Pharisees didn’t recognize Jesus because they were loyal to their interpretations and beliefs of what the Messiah was supposed to be and do. They also preferred the honor and glory from men, rather than God. Their desire was for position, power, and authority. And they setup a dogmatic system that enslaved people to a burden of the law that no one could bear. The Pharisees were dogmatic in their theology and doctrine.
Dogmatism and Loyalty: Christian Leadership
Christianity is no different. Christian leaders and pastors usually aren’t aware of how they struggle with lust and anger, idolatry and murder in relation to desire, sin, and shame. Then, these patterns, behaviors, and fears play out within the church family system. Christians are sometimes more liable to hiding behind their doctrine and knowledge of God, rather than the power and healing from exposure, surrender, humility, confession, repentance, and submission to the LORD.
Dogmatism and Loyalty: Culture and the Church
Part of why culture has rejected the influence of the church is because it reveals the evil and wickedness in the world. However, in addition to that, the world can perceive that Christians are not people of love, but people of shame and condemnation. As long as a person is part of the “in crowd”, he or she is safe from the shame and condemnation of the church. These types of churches have a difficult time maintaining relationships and outreach to those outside of the church. Culture has sensed this hypocrisy and rightfully rejected it. Many churches have a loyalty to a dogmatic structure they call “biblical”, “theological”, or even “doctrinal”. However, in reality, it’s more about loyalty to a family system of managing exposure, pleasure, fear, and power than encouraging people deeper into the gospel embodied and lived out. You’ll know this because these types of churches and relationships do not produce fruit consistent with wisdom. Instead, they atrophy, wither, and slowly decay into ineffectiveness. People can feel when Christians are authentic or not.
Dogmatism and Loyalty: You and the Church, Attachment
How does a person recognize if he or she is in a loyal and dogmatic system? Here’s a couple questions to point you in the right direction. These will give you an idea if the people are primarily ruled by fear and shame. Don’t look for perfect people. Look for people who acknowledge their brokenness, and posses a willingness to be imperfect as they walk with the Spirit towards Christ embodied through their actions, kindness, and love (sanctification).
- Are you free to give your input, even if it doesn’t adhere to the “collective’s” narrative/beliefs?
- Can the church, family, or person bear to hear your doubts, struggles, and questions?
- When you’re happy or sad, do they engage you to know you? Or, do they engage with you to change you? Or do they avoid you?
- Can they bear your “big” emotions, or does it become too difficult for them to hear and see your tears, cries, struggle, or anger?
- When there has been a rupture in the relationship, even if it’s small, do they take ownership of their side and work towards repairing? Or, do they become hostile, aggressive, and defensive? Or, do they disengage, avoid, minimize, or dismiss the issue?
Secure Attachment: Yourself
Next, evaluate yourself with these same questions. People who have suffered greatly at the abuse from others will usually respond by putting themselves into the “all bad” category as they feel shame for not measuring up. If this is how you respond, I want to offer you a kind alternative: “see” your brokenness/sin with the unmerited favor you now stand in through Christ, and that you’re in a process of growth with the Spirit working in you to incrementally change you into the image of Christ. This “seeing” doesn’t happen in this instance. It is iterative, a journey. The path forward is to begin a journey of healing by telling the stories of your life where those who loved you failed to give you what you needed in relation to secure attachment (the above questions).
Secure Attachment: Others
Another way of evaluating is to ask someone you trust how well you fulfill each. If great amounts of fear or anxiety arise when you imagine asking those you consider closest to you, then the pathway of healing is before you: you need to experience many, many, many instances of Christ-embodied, secure love, and attachment. This is what good Christian community or counseling does.