We are prone to see what we want to see in other people.
Social media has ruined our understanding of good relationships because we can curate the narrative we show to everyone else.
If you’re looking at a person and you’re beginning to idealize them, stop and ask yourself:
- Has this person talked about his or her struggles in a kind, curious, and growth oriented way?
- How is this person presenting themselves? Are they happy, blunt, angry, sad, energetic, excited?
- What is attracting you to that person?
- What is this person’s brokenness and heartache?
Everyone is struggling with lust and murder. Everyone is searching and actively seeking some kind of fulfillment and goodness.
It is important to remember that we’re still spiritual, eternal beings created to have life in God. Any material gain or success doesn’t reveal who a person truly is. The person you’re idealizing is a sinner. In some area of his or her life, he or she is seeking life outside of God due to fear, jealousy, or envy.
It is a very good place to be when we begin to see people not for who they present themselves to be, but who they reveal their inner person to be. For a Christian, we are to regard no one according to the flesh. It’s easy to cover up our heinousness inside so that others think we’re great. But a person of character and true worth, who can find? They’re like diamonds hidden deep in the earth. Those who find them find goodness and a blessing from God.