If there’s a piece of psychology and coaching that will lead you down a half-truth path it is “worth” psychology.

What do I mean?

There are people who espouse the ideology that we get our worth from people and things. This is an “unhealthy” way to get worth. Christian coaches and psychologists will say that we should get our worth from God.

I’ve heard coaches using this paradigm to help clients see how they’re making their decisions. Or, even convince Christians that they’re not getting their worth from God, but from other things or people.

So…how is this paradigm a half-truth?

“Worth” psychology doesn’t fully understand how God designed the human heart. 

God designed us to be in relationship. So, getting “worth” from someone who delights in you is natural and right. 

So where’s the problem?

The problem lies with the word “worth”. “Worth” is really describing the internal feeling you receive of goodness, pleasure, and delight. “Worth” implies that you’re looking for something or someone to give you value. Christians will say, “Your value should come from God and nothing else.” But, that’s only half true. You’re looking for someone or something to fill a part of your heart that God designed it to be filled by.

It is good and right to get “worth” (feelings of delight, goodness, and pleasure) from your parents for getting an A on an exam. It’s good to pursue high standards of excellence in your work and feel good for doing so. 

“Worth” thinking can become an entangling net that immobilizes people until they drown in confusion and misguidance of their hearts. 

We were made to feel good for using our gifts, calling, and heart desires to help a world in need. We were made to feel secure in our parent’s love, even when we fail, screw up, or miss the mark. We were made to give and receive honor, delight, goodness, and pleasure. We were made to process, metabolize, and repair negative experiences, traumas, and relationships. We were made to think and feel in healthy ways that lead us to worship and honor the God of our souls. 

But…if you approach the areas of your life from the framework of “where am I getting my worth,” it will lead you down paths that don’t give full freedom and life, only partial. “Where is my worth coming from” produces hyper-vigilance, questioning what is right to feel or think. If you continue with the “worth” framework, your ability to pursue God’s calling, performance in your vocation, relationships, thinking, feeling, and spirituality, will produce confusion, bondage, and death.