Have you ever marveled at the Israelites’ historical journey out of Egypt and all the events up to the exiles? I recently read through the whole story, not all at once, but over a few months, and it is astounding to me how stupid the Israelites were. A typical pattern emerged: God delivers them, they prosper, turn from God, seek their own idols, reap destruction or pain, then repent and turn to God, and the cycle starts all over again. With each passing miraculous deliverance by God, they still turned from God’s ways, even though they’d seen it with their own eyes. I found myself getting extremely frustrated. I would go from elation at God’s heroic deliverance and adoration of the one true God I love and serve, to frustration and anger at the Israelites that they turned from God. I remember praying to God, “Don’t they get it? How many times do You have to save them before they get it? Sheesh, they are so stupid!” I found myself empathizing with God’s heart towards His people, the Israelites. God would get angry and I would get angry. He would restore and forgive; I would be in awe of His enduring love and steadfast faithfulness. I just didn’t understand how people could be fed by bread from heaven and quale in the wilderness, the miraculous deliverance from Egypt, and many, many more miracles, and yet they would turn aside from following their God with all their heart.

And then it happened…God said, “You’re no different than they were.”

This is where I got a glimpse of God’s heart. My heart is so wicked! I am just like the Israelites. I pray to God for help through a difficult time in life. However, after it has passed and life goes on as normal, I forget Him and my heart turns to achieving the American dream instead of gaining fellowship with Christ. That becomes my idol. At times, my heart’s desire is for the pleasure in God, yet the achievement thereof is not possible in myself. His design is so much greater than I could concoct for my life, yet I settle for meaningless indulgent pleasure in sin, and as a result, add pains and suffering to myself. Yet, each time my heart turns away from God, and the harvest of pain reaped from sowing to my flesh turns me back to God, He still forgives me. Why do I ever settle for anything else besides the heart of God?

The heart of God is more beautiful that you could fathom. The heart of God is deeper than you can understand. The heart of God beats for you. The heart of God longs for you. The heart of God cares for you. The heart of God is there with you in your hardship, in your pain, in your regret, in your confusion, in your ambivalence, in your broken friendship, in your hurting marriage, in your fear, in the moment of a friend’s betrayal, in the uncertainty of the lay-off from work…God is there, and He loves you where you are!