Nick Meeder | Way Finders

Have you ever felt rejected? At some point, I think we all have. The question is, what do you do when you feel rejected? Do you ball up inside and bury the hurt? Or, do you get angry and hurt other’s feelings? Do you try to use your charm and tell someone what he or she wants to hear? Or will you become defensive and try to be “right” in your point of view by arguing? The truth is, these are all surface level things. These reactions to rejection are only indicators of a deeper desire. When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, the fellowship and relationship with God was severed on an inner spiritual level. As a result, sin entered the world and separated us from God. However, there is a God shaped hole in our hearts that we desire to be filled. As children we look to our parents to be God. As children, we don’t know that we’re looking for it, it is simply a deep desire to be loved, accepted, and be told that we’re good enough. However, if our parents didn’t point us to God, too often we go down the path of finding God in our parents. Our parents inevitably fail us because the truth is, they’re simply people trying to find the same fulfillment of desire in their souls as you and I are. We go from parents, to friends, to spouses, to children, to jobs, etc. and the list keeps going from one thing to the next. Where do we find fulfillment? We find it in God. We find it in trusting in Jesus’ redemptive work through the cross and resurrection. When we decide that we don’t have to change people, that they’re hurt people doing and trying things to fulfill that desire, and that we are God’s child, that we belong to Him, and He loves us where we are, then life begins to change. We won’t feel rejected by people when they hurt us because God has already accepted us. When you’re looking to Christ to fulfill you, and not people, you don’t have to ball up and bury the hurt, become angry and hurt other people’s feelings, charm others by telling them what they want to hear, or become defensive by arguing to be “right.” God accepts you just the way you are! He is the only one that you can find fulfillment in. Let go of your desire to control people and things in your life. Trust in God and who you are in Him. Be confident in Christ.

This isn’t a post about why life is the way it is, or a response to why something might be going wrong in life. It is more of a written exploration to “why” I do what I do.

I’ve been reading a book written by Simon Sinek titled, “Start With Why.” If you haven’t read it, go read it! I don’t necessarily agree with the world view he has, but I do agree with his observation and it aligns very well with my world view. 

It has caused me to formulate and analyse why I do what I do. In this case HVAC. I have started to formulate what inspires me to do HVAC every day. 

Have you ever had periods in your day to day dealings where you felt like work wasn’t that fun? You really only went to work to make a living?  We all have. I go through periods like that also with my job. So, in response to my reading, I’m formulating in my mind and in writing what it is that inspires me to get up every day and fix air conditioners or help buildings’ comfort systems to operate properly. I have to say, today was an inspiring day of starting my day in the correct mindset of WHY! When I was inspired today, I had desire, just like Zig Zigler says, “When you have vision for the future desire is created. When you have desire, planning and preparing to win become something you get to do, instead of have to do.”

So now it’s your turn. Why do you do what you do? Begin to formulate your ideas of what inspires you to flourish in your marriage, work, or ministry. I will let you know that it should include how it is worship to God and service to other people.

If you’re anything like me, you wish there was an easy button to get everything done that you want to get done, or perhaps change how you want to change. 

Interestingly, when you don’t feel like you’re getting results from your change, you give up. However, giving up is precisely what keeps change from happening.

Small, incremental changes are necessary to start the process of change. How do you eat an elephant? The answer is one bite at a time. If you want to achieve your dream, you must start with the first step. 

The difficult part, is sticking to it. You must learn to crock pot your life, not microwave it. It’s difficult at first, but it gets easier, and then you start to develop momentum. Once you have momentum, it is very difficult to stop you.

So, on my commutes back and forth between work, I try to listen to audio books since I don’t really make time to sit and read. One book that I’ve been listening to is George W. Bush’s, “Decision Points.”

One of the main take aways I’ve learned is that being the President of the United States is extremely demanding and that is an understatement! You and I have it easy and we get to be side-line critics. Mostly, we don’t even have the whole story to give credible context to the decisions a President makes. Our perspective is usually very limited and all we read is our favorite news outlet that scews the perspective. It has also deepened my respect for someone willing to do what a President does. I also greatly respect President G. W. Bush because of the obstacles he overcame, the challenges he met full on, and the standard of personal integrity he held himself to. It is a bit inspiring to try and be the leader George W Bush was and is. The amount of resolve, principle, discipline, diplomacy, and intentionality a person has to have to be the President of the U.S. is aw inspiring.

Another huge leadership takeaway that I’ve gleaned is that as a leader you have to vet and pay attention to those directly under you. Information gets filtered through that person when it comes to you. As a leader, your weaknesses will be exposed, and so to be a strong leader, you must understand yourself and know how to appropriately compensate for it. It is also amazing to see what happens when a leader tolerates dissention among team members. A leader must enforce and guard his team’s values and culture, otherwise, the team will make it themselves and it usually isn’t good.

Whether you liked him or not, agreed with everything or not, you and I do not have the leadership capacity he had. When we are given proper perspective on life, we grow and gain a deeper appreciation for other people’s situations.

If you want to grow in life or spirituality, try teaching people something. One of the greatest ways that I continue to grow is by teaching others. This helps me to stay accountable to practice what I’ve taught others to do. 

If you can’t teach other people, then try helping or serving in some capacity. 

In our consumer and self-driven culture, those who are truly content are those who help others in some capacity. Why? Because it is a form of generosity and we were created to give – that is what God did. 

It might be by sharing ideas with other people. It might be teaching people to handle their money biblically. It could be installing an electrical system in someone’s house. It might be by helping other people become healthier and stronger at a gym. Find something you enjoy doing that benefits other people. 

This is how value is created and added to other people. It starts, though, by becoming more concerned with someone else’s well being. That can’t happen when all you think about is yourself. Learn to become inter-dependent, instead of self-dependent. There is a direct correlation with your level of contentment and helping people.